Constant's Manual/ the guide for successful life with C.

written by friends, additions and changes welcome!

how to: press edit page, please respect other additions, and the project, sabatoge is useless, backups are automatic and archived.

General:

Constant is one of a kind and can't be replaced.
Constant has to have an opinion, though eventually he will learn to appreciate yours.
Accept delayed reactions to your ideas (or cooking), be sure they will finally be acknowledged, and
complimented.
Constant likes a lot of everything. (Salt for instance).
Constant is a big candy fan/man.
Constant eats very slow and with great pleasure, don't be surprised if you finished your plate while he is
still half way through.
Constant is open minded and can talk about every subject, he is a great companion, together you can clean,
shop, gossip and work.
Constant loves to show his knowledge of weird things and stories, but it's not always facts. (He knows
everything from the news).
Constant has holes between his fingers and money will be spent on very weird things.
Constant collects a lot, or everything.
Constant has at least 100 T Shirts with bands prints on, and that"s what he likes to wear under his cottons
and blazers.
Vintage is good, and posh is good as well.
In a discussion Constant tends to pick the opposite opinion (most of the time only for the sake of
discussion, or to let you tone down your opinion).
Constant sees almost everything as a ritual, so thinks that even the smallest detail is something to be done
seriously, make it look like you do so as well.
Constant is not interested in the first impression he makes.
So you (or your friends) can have the first impression that he is not happy and not friendly at all. But he
will always make the effort to get to know a person in the end.
Constant likes to help people, and talk to people in need, and once in a while feels like nobody notices his
effort.
Constant like's it when you remember things, and maybe once in a wile make subtle references to it.
Constant has a good singing voice.
Constant likes swimming and smoking...at the same time.
Constant doesn't mind being woken up.
Constant doesn't like his mental space to be hijacked too much.
Constant likes silence.

Maintenance:

Constant drinks no coffee! But he will meet you for coffee.
He shaves his hair and his facial hair on a non regular base, same for other body parts, and the routine of
cleaning his house.
Constant picks his nose with a great enjoyment, and kind of scientifically curious about body fluids and so
on. (If you squeeze one of his blackheads, keep it and show to him).

Music:

Everything and a lot. Everything goes as long as it's good, and you could imagine riding a horse on it, or
if the story behind the music is good, or if it's well played.
I you have a bit of music knowledge you can play a variety of music games with him, for example the
intro-guess the artist/title game.

Indoor:

Tea, Tea, Tea Black, mildly warm, with milk, and a lot, for a special treat try Chai (preferably homemade).
Regrets smoking, tries to quit, and wants to stay in forever on the sofa watching T.V.

Family:

Constant has lost his father (an academic lecturer in biology and anatomy from Rotterdam) to hart problems
at the age of 15 (father was 56) and has no real problems talking about it. The relationship with his mother
(born and raised in Groningen, now living in the centre of The Hague) is sometimes problematic; he has phone
contact with her irregularly once a week, and sometimes relies on her to pay his bills.
Constant has a ten year older brother that studied history and is a teacher, and a seven year older sister
that studied Japanese, now working as a head of translation at Ricoh. The both are married, have a house and
both have two children.
Constant can sometimes feel like he's an outcast in his family. There is only contact with the mother's side
of his family where there are only two aunts left, both having studied art history which is constant's only
family link to art.

Outdoor:

As I mentioned before: Constant drinks no coffee.
Going out: wearing a jacket also in a crowded club smoking a lot of Lucky Strikes, drinking Beer, Extra
emotional and sentimental by drinking, take by consideration.
Licks his plate, (at home and in public) after finishing eating, don't be amazed. Constant is a rebel.
Constant has a little dog with which he has a hate-love relationship but mostly love. The dog is very
hyper-active and tiny and Constant is very slow and big. When he goes out with his dog his dog doesn't
listen to him at times and just follows an other dog owner, but finally the dog always comes back to
constant. The dog's name is Andy but it is a girl. (This is because of a dream about Andy Warhol).
Constant like's to drive cars, and likes to show you how well he can drive, like unnoticed gear shifts.

Food:

Everything and a lot. Strong tastes are highly recommended.
(No fish actually-beside for Tuna, preferably raw and fresh, or salad.)

Cooking:

Constant can cook! And bake as well, even bread with his bread baking machine.
Pay attention, Constant uses all the ingredients in the fridge, the more the merrier...
Ask for the Salad with the smoked Chicken.
Tip: leave him alone not a real cooking together type.

Don't do List

Don't leave your shoes in the middle of the house.
Don't sit in the middle of the sofa, just don't take too much space.
Don't leave the fridge's door open.
Don't leave tissues everywhere.
Don't interfere with things concerning his taste. (Like how the house is organised or what he wears, you
better give him things that you like)
Don't m ake too much ironic jokes with Constant (for example don't make jokes about his name or his clothing
etc)
Don't give him any kind of advice if he doesn't specifically ask for it
Don't give his dogs any bad ideas and bad manners
Don't walk to close or a bit in front him.

Do List

Take Constant seriously.
Clean the "yellow" doekje.
Tell him he is a great artist, talk to him about his work
Tell him your wishes so he doesn't feel like he has to take all the decisions.
Be clear about things like what you feel like eating, where, and at what time.
Know in advance weather you want to go to a certain concert.
Listen to his fantasies, co-operate with them as much as possible.
Surprise Constant with blowjobs, handjobs and other goodies that are your ideas.
The last advice only applies for girls.
For friends it's mostly ok to come and visit and relax in Constants house and even internet or work, as long
as he can work as well.
Make sexual insinuations.
Replace the roll of toilet paper when you finish it.
Give him a cuddle, when he needs it.


Special thanx to Hadar Kadman

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